||[Nov. 16th, 2005|12:50 pm]
|||||string cheese incident||]|
Damn...well some shits finally cought up to me i guess....but I'm goin to rehab tomorrow mornin...eh itll be my first time and hopefully my last....it was willingly...i was the one who wanted to go...but the more time passes and the more i think about it...I'm becoming more scared, I'm not sure if its the future without heroin and some other drugs..or if thats even possible for me, i know i can live without heroin if i really try..but i dunno drugs became my normal and face it i god damn love drugs..I cant live a completely sober life..I know when i get out im going to smoke and do mushrooms and acid..purhaps pills even...i dunno if thats a real shitty mind set but i just wanna go back to the green stuff and mushrooms maaan fdkljfalk anyway i dont even know what i'm saying sorry if i sound fucking dumb as hell right now but i have a million thoughts running through my head, anyway...I'm going to be gone for 2 weeks...no big deal compared to a bettter life but...i dunno...im going to miss thanksgiving with my family and stuff like that...i dunno...i just feel very selfish but i know i shouldnt but i do in someway ;\
Good luck and everything.
PS. This entire entry describes me too
thank you...well than good luck with things yourself
Except the whole rehab deal...
i know how u feel. sober life sucks, esp. when u have to go to rehab to get it. i think weaning off of it is a little better for you. i am here.
..and i will save you some turkey and stuffing and a drink.
...and a blunt. its absolutely NOTHING wrong with a blunt babe.
love you !
i know how you feel and im sorry about the whole rehab deal. I feel as if im just starting out with all the drugs, and I LOVE THEM. I am just attracted to anything that has to deal with a substance. I wonder if i'll become a drug addict, because with my curiousity about the subject, it seems inevitable. Part ofme wants to become addicted, to feel all of it, as sick as it may sound. i do believe the rehab will give you more self control though, and perhaps you should take a break rfom the heroin because that is harsh, but i ahve to say im curious about it as well. I know no matter what i'll always smoke weed, because weed is weed, and i fucking love to get stoned.
Run as fast as you can from drugs dude....i wish someone told me that and i had fucking listened...would have saved me many ods and pains...but i dunno ive had good times but bad times just overwhelm the good...I know you're curious and probably not going to listen...i didnt either but at least take some advice...stay away from the chemicals...and heroin and crack and coke...HEROIN especially because i first said i'd never do it...and then once...and then ok a few times and then driving into trenton nearly everyday needing it...yes drugs were fun...until they started to ruin my life so i dunno...just be careful all i can say
Hey, your back, but now your gone again.. Good fucking luck dood, fuck heroin that shit is for morons, pot.. is not a drug dont listen to those superficial assholes that say it is, fuck them wtf do they know, all they do is study the bad aspects of it.. do they smoke it?!? NEVER! fuck em, shroooms eh w.e, heroin tho.. bad mojo not wanting to mess with that stuff chill with that shit, pills are cool on occasion, as long as you can balance out ur life with all other aspects of.. well, ur life. 2 fucking weeks of rehab holy shit man, i went for 2 days and nearly went on a killing rampage... (please disregard that) but yah since you wont be doing stupid fat cock sucking shit loving anus grabbing heroin anymore, i guess youll just have to balance all the random drugs you normally did with... Yep thats right! GOOD OL` MARY FUCKING JANE, never once has she done me wrong, she was even strong enough (in the mass bong rips mind you) to get me off X, So GOOD FUCKING LUCK DOOD, dont forget to toke a fat bowl when you get out of that shithole, and remember if you ever get peer pressured/tempted to do anything out of smoking pot, just remember what i said, YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVENT SMOKED ENOUGH POT YET NOOB!
Wtih love and care,
thanks I'm back...damn rehab was life changing...right now im going straight edge...i cant handle anything right now not even pot cuz i havent had a clear mind in over half a decade and right now i just want everything to slow down...so many friends getting arrested just for bud and now its not even about whos getting arrested next...its about whos going to die next...and i got really fucking sick in rehab from pills and alcohol to the point i was in a wheelchair and them calling my parents about going to a hospital for an iv...its just not fucking worth it...and right now my mind and body are fucking fried...i feel empty and scaried cuz all i think about is taking a sip and i know it wouldnt be a sip itd be a 1000 sips and i couldnt even stay clean in rehab until the very end...so i dunno i'm going out-patient...when i have my own place and i grow my own greens and not buy...not know where the fuck my buds are really coming from...i think im just gunna stick with the drug reality cuz i heard its pretty rough and i wanna try it lol...just one fucking day at a time all i can say